My dearest, from your stranger
by Junjou-is-pureheart
Summary: Aoba sees himself goes into Platinum Jail with someone different each dream every night, even if he can't remember their faces, can't remember why does it feel so nostalgic at all. But those are not dreams at all. They never have been dreams. (All main ships)


**It's self betad, so sorry for any mistakes!**

He woke up lazily that morning with a strange feeling of uneasiness, and his body was so dead tired—like he had just been running a marathon of a big adventure or something silly like that— for reasons that he didn't really know why because he definitely never felt like he overworked himself. The again he didn't think much of it, rolling back to sleep before he felt a paw nudging at his side and a deep familiar voice that didn't match its owner's body.

Aoba remembered it was Friday when he woke up to Ren jumping up and down on his body, (which by now became one of his daily routine, being stomped by a fluffy bundle of blue fur) and he remembered his grandmother's snort at him when he realized that he was going late for his work—yelling and running around noisily, taking the quickest bath he could manage before eating the breakfast almost in one big last gulp that made Tae sighed, probably thinking why he raised such a lazy boy. He remembered it was in the middle of the spring as he felt a rush of wind, a bit of mixture between cool and warm breeze rushing into his skin when he opened the door, yelling an 'I am going!' before dashing to work, totally forgetting to lock the door for the umpteenth time (He had a premonition at work, but didn't think much about it). He would greet Haga-san when he reached Heibon, his very kind new boss who miraculously didn't kick him out after letting him work for him for more than a week (He didn't really want to think about his previous work places so let's skip that). He would see the brats coming after him and disturbing his work, making a mess of the place and making Aoba think that sometimes he feel like a babysitter more than a delivery shop. Late at night he might meet Yoshie-san to deliver some things, both him and Ren would endure her and Clara's advances before coming back home to have Tae yelled at him for forgetting to lock the door.

To put it simply, it was his everyday life. It was something so dull and boring and normal, yet it was so refreshing and peaceful and it always felt like a new experience for each day passing—despite how those days almost had no difference between yesterday, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the next week—that Aoba never really wanted it to change, never really wanted it to disappear, ever.

He thought sometimes that he was being too lazy for being so content with his life, and probably he should have a bigger goals or dreams for his future.

…though speaking of his dreams, they _did_ get more exciting… in a very unpleasant, weird and _nostalgic_way he couldn't quite pinpoint why.

Having nightmares everyday was definitely not healthy for his mentality and sanity, but Aoba felt himself itching in curiosity when he realized those dreams were continuing everyday—like some sort of an endless drama that ends at one day only for it to continue on the next day. Granted, the first time he remembered start dreaming those nightmares, he didn't really realize they were a connected dreams. He was scared shitless by those disturbing imageries of the first nightmares he almost didn't want to go work (until Tae was screaming at his door and he realized how dumb it was for a 23 years old to be pilled by blankets and pillows, pissing himself over a _dream_ on his own bed anyway).

Although even if he did say _nightmares_… The worst ones were only the first ones, with the rest after that were more wacky and weird more than creepy and bloody. To be exact, one of his first nightmares contained the image of a splitting image of his childhood friend turning into a beast, caged and all bloody and instinct with no reason left. Next was where he became some sort of modernized Midas, except the thing (something resembling a broken ghost with lifeless eyes and disturbing smile trying to kill him) you touch didn't turn into gold, but bleed profusely instead, making both of them a lump, sack of bloody meats trying to kill each other. There was one time where he almost thought he was in a drama (Aoba had to admit if he really was, the burning forest was very realistic and the actors were really good at acting like they are really _dying),_because everything was so plain_cliché_—but he couldn't really care for that when he felt his body being crushed by a dreadlock warrior—probably the main hero mistaking him as an enemy—before he saw a blade was swung towards his neck. Other nightmares had made him a broken doll who lost his will to live for some sort of sick taxidermist, or him being turned into an object of pleasure for freaking a snake and a lion, and the worst of them… well… he would prefer not remembering being a food _and_ a sex toy for a hungry werewolf at the same time.

Aoba didn't tell anyone about his dreams. They were kind of blurry anyway and it didn't disturb him as much, since he himself could barely remember his dreams over Tae's yelling every single day.

But this where things started getting weird. After the worst of them came out, they started considerably becoming better, almost like the dreams next to them had nothing to do with his freakish nightmares and more like spy movies where he was sneaking into some kind of tower at night with someone he knew (no, it's not just simply knowing, he was sure it was more than that), but couldn't remember who. But he knew those dreams were connected somehow—not like watching a normal sitcom in TV like he had thought, because then he realized those dreams were not continuing in a straight timeline, but _moving backwards instead_. Or it might be like watching a drama TV shows from the first POV, only he was watching it from the last episode moving to the first episode..

He must be crazy, because those dreams gave him feelings he should not have, memories he didn't know whose, an a freaking sum of exhaustion like he had been running for his life for straight 8 hours every morning, and yet he felt nostalgic and it crept him out so much that he almost didn't want to sleep at one point, because the closer it got to the past, the clearer it was _whose_ memories he had been dreaming. The more it moved backwards, the more he realized how similar the places all around in these dreams with Platinum Jail's structure, and the closer it get backwards, the clearer it became that these dreams were containing memories of someone who definitely lived in Midorijima—someone who lived in Old District. And the more he dreamt, the more he realized with a mortifying fear, how similar the atmosphere was with his boring, peaceful life.

He thought, no way, that was impossible.

But really, could it be? Could it be those dreams he had been having were some kind of premonition of the future? Aoba felt stupid to believe that he was going to meet some bunch of creepy guys (for some reasons, there were people he knew, but all of their faces were blur) who were going to bond with him and at one point even having a sexual relationship with him (thankfully, he just remembered he did have sex, not remembering all the gratuitous scenes to the excruciating details , he didn't even remember how kissing felt like), and he certainly didn't want to believe that his grandma was going to put into a danger, but they were terrifyingly nostalgic and accurate regarding the people that live around here and the places so far.

He still didn't feel like it was his memories—it felt more like he was seeing something that were not his. It did give him some certain of feelings, but truth to be told, he couldn't even remember the faces of his future lovers—if they could really be called that given the circumstances of his first nightmares. He couldn't even make out their faces at all, even if they are incredibly nostalgic. Heck he couldn't even really remember what actually happened the whole through dreams without getting a really awful headache. He could only just make out that the dream was going to bring him to Platinum Jail for some reasons he could not really remember, just that he _had_to, somehow with someone he felt he _needed_to save (but _who?_) and everything was going to end in tragedy between them, because he probably fucked up somewhere belong.

(But how? Why did he fuck up? What he could do to save them?)

_What kind of dreams are these? No wait, are they really dreams in the first place?_

Now that he thought about it… something was fishy here.

Today, which he was sure was Friday, he dreamt of being in Heibon, getting a short non sensical message of anonymous, asking to be destroyed.

The day when he woke up after dreaming of being eaten… it was Friday.

The days when he dreamt of being killed, being caged with a beast or made into a sex slave or doll, they were also Friday.

The days when he dreamt of meeting those blurred people and slowly getting to know them… they were also Friday.

But that was impossible. Aoba was sure he dreamt of this dream every day, every single day he woke up from Ren's pitiful effort and preparing himself to go to work, and being snorted by his Granny. Every single day he dreamt when he would dash to Heibon to meet Haga-san on day, taking care of the store, and being visited by those three evil brats… And then the night, he would sometimes visit Yoshie-san and Clara, delivering some parts they asked and then…

_And then?_

He stopped thinking for a moment, heart filling his throat and stomach churning.

And then after repeating the same dull, boring, normal life he had every day, he would fell asleep and continued dreaming….

He felt sick and his mouth was dry the realization sunk into his head. Those days he didn't notice had passed because it was how his daily routine was supposed to be… How his days would repeat the same exact dull, boring routine, over and over again, everyday….

His body shuddered before he even noticed.

It had been Friday. It had always been Friday.

_How long have I been repeating Friday?_

He looked at Ren who had been in the sleeping mode and pressed his hand on his forehead. The allmate quickly flopped up, tail wagging and tongue poking cutely and the cute scene helped him calm down, shooting his heart from a mental break down he thought he was going to receive.

"Aoba, what's wrong?"

Aoba's eyes softened and he took Ren to his lap, brushing his fur with his fingers as Ren made himself comfortable on his owner's thighs.

"What time is it now, Ren?" He asked.

"It's almost 10 PM, you should sleep soon, Aoba. You have early shift tomorrow."

"Ren? Tomorrow is supposed to be Saturday… right?"

Ren's ear twitched a bit and he stood on four, eyes looking at Aoba, as if he sensed the worry in Aoba's tone. "Yeah, it should be Saturday. You need to wake up early because you work 2 hours earlier on Saturday. Is there something wrong, Aoba?"

There was something wrong with him, yeah. He had probably been experiencing the same day over and over again with the only thing he can remember changing was his dream. He didn't even remember that he had been repeating the same day, either due to his obliviousness or to his incredibly normal days. He did think he wanted his peaceful days never to change ever, but being trapped in a time loop is not what he expected his wish to happen.

"Nah, nothing's wrong." Ren seemed so oblivious about the whole thing, so Aoba didn't want to worry him. He took Ren on his eye level, smiling, before putting his forehead against Ren's furry one. This was one of his little rituals that he always did with Ren every day. Even if it was just a simple gesture of affection, it meant a lot for him, and doing that, he felt like he was never alone from the start, because Ren had always been there for him, that he would always comfort him and support him in his worst days.

(Of course he had always been there. He had always been there because he was Aoba's partner, right? Was there any other possibility?)

Aoba closed his eyes in time he saw Ren's closed too, before whispering, "Thank you, as always."

"My pleasure."

"Please take care of me from now on too."

"My pleasure."

It was something he noticed after doing this with Ren for so many times. Ren always answered him in a very polite manner. He was aware it could be just the programming of the allmate—even if Aoba would want to think Ren was much more than just that, and Aoba almost refrain from asking, before he realized that if he did ask Ren, this could be a chance for him to really test if every day he experienced really was Friday.

Of course, aside of that, Aoba was genuinely curious about that too.

"You always answered like that huh?"

"Is it weird?" The Ren's expression remained the same, but his tone indicated confusion and Aoba restrained himself from laughing at his allmate's tilting face.

"No, not really," He says instead, looking at the black eyes that were staring back at him.

(He wondered for a moment—despite as far as he could remember he had never customized Ren's physical appearance—if they have always been this color, because for some reasons he felt like they used to be a warmer, brighter, beautiful color of a sun.)

"I just think it's a bit funny," He continued instead, trying not to think much about another of his lately sudden appearing images.

"…"

Ren let out a deep sigh, thinking hard. He shuffled a bit, before smiling widely his tongue was poking out and he wagged his tail faster, looking so much like a normal puppy like that.

"I am grateful for you five million times over, baby."

It struck him weird to think that it was not Ren's kin-of-suave tone nor his uncharacteristic choice of words that took him surprise, but more to the case that he felt like he _had_ somewhat heard those answer before, even if he couldn't remember when or where.

"…what was that?"

"I tried to change my wording a bit. Is that okay?"

He still laughed and ruffled Ren's head, feeling silly that he had to cling into something that was not real. Those dreams were affecting him, and it made him overthinking things, but even if those days were repeating, there was no way he would forget this reality—the fact that he had been living peacefully with his Granny and his friends, and also how Ren just would never change and remained as his best partner—there was no way these memories were fake. Even if those dreams were indeed weird, he would not let them take his peaceful life. He would protect these kind memories with Ren and Granny, no matter how those dreams were going to fuck with his head.

He gave Ren a last pat, smiling as he hugged the small bundle of fur. "I am sorry, Ren, you really are better off being you have always been."

Ren would always be the same, no matter what, he would always be by Aoba's side.

With those comforting words in his mind, Aoba found himself more prepared and relaxed to sleep that night.

The next morning, he woke up with a sweat trickling to his forehead, earlier even before Ren himself woke him up. His body was all shuddering, and he looked at his coil to see what time it was.

04.15 AM, Saturday.

He choked a sob and then he noticed Ren was there, sleeping near his feet. He looked so innocent, as if he was not just a robot programmed to do things, but a real living person in a body of small pup. He almost wanted to reach Ren, trying to calm his overwhelmed body from stuttering, but he stopped before he felt the fur, clenching his fist and gritting his teeth before curling himself up into a ball in the bed, trying to hold himself desperately from crying.

He, indeed, had been repeating Friday, but not in the way he thought it would be. In fact, today was Saturday, so it meant that he was not waking up to another Friday and repeating them again and again, with another dream accompanying him every different Friday. It was not like that at all.

In fact, those dreams… were not dreams at all.

He remembered now. He only felt like it was always Friday not because he was repeating the day, but because he forgot about the next day, and the next day after that and everything that happened so on. He remembered now, everything that _had_ happened and _was going to_ happen on this day and the next day onwards. It was like a sudden rush of feelings and memories and everything he could not take, and he remembered he had cried like this before, every Saturday in the middle of the Spring, curling and sobbing and choking in his own tears because he remembered memories of the future, memories he should not even have now, but he had it now, because he wished for it, he wished to come back to fix everything and _save everyone_ and he would never let anyone to be sacrificed.

The images of their faces resurfaced—this time clearer than glass and it hurt so badly to even think, to even breathe as they call out their names in his head, again and again and _again_until he unconsciously sobbing them out loud.

"_Koujaku… Noiz…."_ He cried weakly, clutching his chest painfully as tears and snot kept dripping to his already wet pillow—the one he was sure he had cried himself into before again and again, on the same dawn of Saturday, in the middle of spring. "_Mink… Clear…"_

Except for Koujaku, he had yet to see the other three, had not supposed to know those names, had yet to recognize them. It didn't matter now, because now they—including Koujaku—were the people he had grown to come attached for—to see, to understand, to _care._He could remember every single trace of their faces and every single contour of their skin. Now he knew everything about them, even to the demons inside them that caged them and made them suffer, and Aoba felt so angry, so weak because he was not supposed to pry into the others, but he had promised himself that he would save them, and these feelings and memories were his punishment.

But it was not only them who suffer. They were not the only one who suffer. He glanced at Ren, a strong urge to hug him was so strong and suffocating but he held himself from screaming and bone crushing someone inside that bundle of fur, and he felt so lonely, so sad because Ren had _always been here. He has always been by my side, always_. He placed a hand in his heart, trying to feel if _someone_was there, inside of him crying, asking him to look at him and talk to him and _accept_him.

And then there was someone who was also still suffering in that tower, all alone, waiting to be found, waiting to _die_.

He remembered everything—the bad futures were not the only things he had seen, he had also seen the good ones, the sweet, nice memories he had shared with his lover, things he never seen when they masked their selves because of the demons inside of them. He had seen the possible future between every single of them, where he and _that person_ were happy like the world revolved around them only, but he could not bear it—not when he knew there was someone else suffering in that timeline, all alone trying to fix themselves with no one else to help.

(He supposed it was selfish of him, to want all of them at the same time, to love all of them with the same excruciatingly, painful self-crushing portion while they knew _nothing_ about him at all and he hated himself because he hated cheating, and he felt like he was undeserving of them because loving 5 persons at the same time was too much… too much for his body and his mind could ever take.)

He didn't know when it started—only that he knew that when he fucked up or succeeded in saving only one person, he would always transfer himself to the past on that Friday before everything started, something that he had always thought he was dreaming until all of his memories coming back on the next day. Doing that, he got even Mizuki almost always broken in every timeline, and he had several times missed Tae and let her to be taken off much to his dismay, although thankfully she was always safe and good in every future, so he could feel a little relieved. But apart of that he had tried to get close to all of them, even to _Mizuki_, so that he could get their permission for him to pry open their heart, to save all of them from the demons that was haunting them. He had tried to scrap them without their permissions, and it was a _bad choice,_because he was so desperate to save them, and because he knew everything about them, he had forgotten that for them he was either a stranger, or someone they never wanted to share their demons with. He had hurt them instead, and it prickles his heart like he was being hit by thousand spears to see distrust and disappointment from those eyes—looks that Aoba would never want to see it from _them,_out of all people.

But he had all the time in the world now. He didn't know where he got this power to go back to the past, or what triggered him to do it in the first place too. It was breaking him as well, not being able to embrace the very person he loved when he saw them in front of his eyes, and he had almost given up on trying because it hurt, it _hurt so much_and he just wanted to rest, until he realized that him giving up would mean their demise forever.

(And then he remembered Koujaku's self hatred and fake smiles, along with Koujaku's genuine smile as he hold unto his hand, kissing him and declaring his love for him and thanking him for staying by his side. He remembered Noiz's cold attitude and his loneliness, but also the way he looked so alive the moment Noiz felt for the first time and the way he smiled and swept him off his feet. He remembered how ruthless Mink was, how strong his will to die, and how gentle Mink's hands were and how he would look after him, praying for him and cradle him with care and love. He remembered how scared Clear was of the future, how much he wanted to be something real and alive, but he also remembered how brave and protective Clear could be, and how he was the most human person he had ever seen.

He also remembered how Ren would never change. He remembered when Ren hated himself so much because his feelings would disturb Aoba's balance, that it had always been Aoba and forever be Aoba in his priorities that he would want to disappear, how he could be very selfless and how he could be very possessive and how he could be himself without being Aoba anymore and how they promised, always to be together.)

Their happiness in the future—things that had yet to happen but he knew it existed in his memories and he knew it would happen, he would make it happen —was the only thing that got his system moving, the only thing he knew he could never abandon no matter how painful it was going to be for him.

He calmed down ten minutes later, face was wet and sticky from dried tears, but his breathing had turned normal and he could think more clearly now. There was still an ache in his heart—they were always exist in every timeline, they never disappeared—but that was fine, that was good because it reminded him of being alive, that he had endless time to fix things even if he failed again, and it reminded him of how their smiling, happy faces—sweet memories of them falling in love in their respective futures that definitely _existed_, even if those futures were something he should never have, something where he would never be able to see by their side anymore.

But he still wouldn't be alone. He could at least live with that, knowing that everyone could be saved, that they could forgive themselves and got the futures they deserved. He might still be able to save his long lost brother, and Ren, even if not in the future that he would like to exist, would always still be with him, together, _forever_.

So Aoba closed his eyes, thinking of a particular someone who he knew had been lonely for a long time, secretly wishing that they still had the heart to forgive him for not noticing so long, knocked on the small closed door inside his heart and called for his other self.


End file.
